Like many technical people, I’m not really much of a restaurant person. When I eat out I’m usually in my car, talking to a microphone in a clown’s head, and ordering the number 7 combination. With that lack of expertise in mind, here are my top 10 favorite menus I found on the Internet.

1. Tough call, but for the soup, I think I’ll go with the shrimp.

2. Can I have some grilled wife to go with that?

3. This restaurant must cater to a research crowd.

4. Can I substitute simple aggravated assault?

5. What the heck?

6. Does baked backwash call for red wine or white wine?

7. I’d say several of these item names are somewhat curious.

8. Does it come with a flash?

9. Too many wonderful options here.

10. And I’ll have some fungus and pork licer with that flesh.